I woke up knowing what was to come. At 11am mom was plannign on taking chloe to the vet. So i walked around with her in my arms and gave her kisses telling her that i would always love her. Then we played but the dinning room vent for awhile. She was all sprawled out happy playing with her collar which i took off to keep. And when mom said it was time to put her in the crate i walked over with her, held her close, gave her a kiss one last time and put her in and oh god was it ever the hardest thing i've ever done. When mom was walking to the door i was watching chloe and thinking this is it, the last time i'll ever see her and it killed me. Mom stopped asked if i wanted to say good bye again so i went over, chloe walked right out of her crate and i hugged her and kissed her again, gave me a big big hug and let her go back in. She never said a thing just went right in. Mom said on the car ride she didn't meow once, was very quiet like she knew. It hurt me more then i can ever describe when i saw mom take her out the door. I kept going about my business getting ready for the day, crying the whole time. Heidi came over and we sewed for awhile, my hoops came in the mail and that made me happy. We went to the mall and the whole time i kept thinking about chloe and it made me want to cry. I've spent 18 years of my life with that cat, and i know i don't like life with out her so this will be an interesting journey.
but i am sad, no matter how many times i tell myself it was for the best, it doens't matter cause in the end she's gone and that makes me sad.
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